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24K Magic (10/10)

Peter Gene Hernandez… the most talented male singer/performer on Earth… and I didn’t see this coming. Born and raised in Honolulu, Hawaii, the artist known as Bruno Mars is far from an overnight success. Instead the Jewish, Puerto Rican, Spanish, Filipino artist was signed to Motown way back in 2004, and had to wait 6 years to release his debut album with Atlantic which officially made him a household name. Years later he would have platinum records and headline SuperBowl performances, yet it wasn’t until this holiday season that he became the most dynamic artist in all of music. Of course as far as pop records go he’s had that since the first album, but genuine respect in R&B? Dream, Timberlake, CB level? That’s newfound admiration… and with this new album it’s deserved… considering Bruno Mars 3rd studio album is a time capsule of the greatest music we’ve ever heard, revived through brand new original records that will be celebrated for many years to come…

24K Magic is critiqued track by track below, 9 records that collectively come together as the perfect album.


24K Magic

"Playas, put yo' pinky rings up to the moon, girls, what y'all trying to do?” The first single is an indisputable blockbuster smash and what Bruno himself describes as an “invitation to the party;” the party likely referring to this 9 track masterpiece that is nothing short of a musical experience … either way by itself this one is definitely smooth enough to dance to and this record is played and celebrated worldwide, therefore this will likely be the soundtrack to hundreds of thousands of coke parties from now until new years...



“Slide with your boy to the bar...slide with your boy to the car… I’ve been searching everywhere and now here you areee, Chunky...” this one is for the girls who wear big hoops, daisy dukes, and apparently have some meat on their bones… nonetheless this one is good and catchy enough for anyone who wants to dance… even the skinny girls exemplified by the Victoria Secret models.



“Throw some perm on your attitude, girl you gotta relax, ooh” Is this Bruno Mars or James Brown? Either way apparently Bruno Mars can be anyone he wants to be, because he’s simply talented enough to do so. This one happens to be played the least in my own stereo system, yet that doesn’t keep me from acknowledging it’s level of musicianship


That’s What I Like

"Jump in the Cadillac, girl, let's put some miles on it, anything you want, just to put a smile on it, you deserve it baby, you deserve it alllll… and I'm gonna give it to youuuu” Bruno’s heating up on this but by 24K Magic standards this is in some respects the most generic record on here, yet that still doesn’t mean it’s anything less than pure flames… Bruno Mars simply doesn’t miss on this album, even though it’s the next track that puts this project into an entire different category.


Versace on the Floor

“Oooh I love that dress but you won't need it anyyymoreee, no you won't need it no more, let's just kiss 'til we're naked, baby... Versace on the floor…” This one is a triumph… this one is fiiiiiire… this one is an epic ballad that will be played for many many years to come, as it’s dynamite slow jam that’s arguably the best baby makin music to come out since the 1990’s. This one also has range, as in the first verse it could easily sound like the best of N’Sync, and then it turns quickly to the best of Bobby Brown/Keith Sweat/Tevin Campbell by the time it gets to the hook - where overall it has enough layers and moments to make it a record that most will never forget.


Straight Up & Down

“This liquor got both of us faded, so gone, so gone, so gone, but your booty deserve a celebration, and I'm gonna celebrate it all night long” It’s not often that an entire album of records can compete for best song, yet 24K Magic is apparently the exception, as like the others this one is nothin but smooth fire. The production all throughout the album is primarily done by Shampoo Press & Curl, who are relatively unknown and are likely to be Bruno Mars’s in-house producers, all of whom are likely to have a holiday bonus coming their way.


Calling All My Lovelies

“I got Alicia waitin', Aisha waitin', all the eesha's waitin' on me” This one is smoooooooooth.... and in my mind I can envision some even smoother choreography to go with it, nonetheless on this one Bruno Mars sings about the audacity of a lady who’s curving him; considering the roster of girls he can have whenever he wants. This one’s ultimately quality enough where it could either be Timberlake or it could be The Dream, and with that being said Bruno Mars has entered a new level of artistry in his career.



“We out here drippin' in finesse…it don’t make no sense… out here drippin in finesse… you know it, you know it...” Again this one could be the best of NewEdition/BelBivDevoe/BobbyBrownSolo/RalphTresvantSolo/etc./etc./etc. and without a doubt that’s an incredible compliment I’d never thought I’d lend to Bruno Mars… yet out of nowhere he’s earned it.


Too Good To Say Goodbye

“Telllll meee whyyyyy, why can't we tryyyy and starttt again, this can't be howww ourrr storyyyy endsss, you're more than my girllll, you're myyy best friend, tell me you remember when…” Man this is timeless… close your eyes and this honestly could be the best of Jackson 5… incredible music from Bruno Mars and the entire Shampoo Press & Curl production team.


From beginning to the end it’s the perfect album, no other way to describe it. Bruno Mars created a masterpiece… one that legitimately puts him on a Beyonce level… nevermind the previous billboard success… this has now crossed over into a real respect in music… iconic level… a place in history amongst the greats… salute this man Bruno Mars and major respect due to Shampoo & Curl… 24K Magic is officially the best album of the year.

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